Tell my wife before she goes out,
I’ll hoover, then garden.
Vacuuming her dressing table I,
accidentally suck up an earring
and spend most of the day
my finger up the thin hole
of the bag until it drops out,
and I am covered in dust,
empty peanut shells, feathers,
cat fur and damn my OCD.
My wife returns and says
you didn’t do the garden, then?