whether to scratch my watch or wind my arse.
Haven’t seen the ball since kickoff.
I have the relative IQ of a deck chair.
A poster child for birth control.
Couldn’t hit the floor if I fell on it.
If you stand close enough to me
you can hear the sea.
Forgot to pay my brain bill.
Antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
My belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
Another brain would be lonely.
I would argue with a signpost.
If you gave me a penny for my thoughts, you’d get change.
People have had more meaningful conversations with a brick wall.
I ran out of gas before my car.
Nice cage, but no bird.
Left the scene before my body.
Wind is blowing but nothing is moving.
Umbrella is up but there’s no rain.
Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, I only gargled.
I have been shipped but not delivered.
If my nose was on upside down
I’d drown in the rain.
My elevator goes to top but the doors don’t open.
One IQ point above brain death.
Any slower and I’d need to be watered once a week.
All booster, no payload.
I have some lug nuts rattling in my hubcaps.
Nice house, not much furniture.
IQ lower than my shoe size.
brains from Adam.
If I could do the right thing.
Make the right choice.
I would be able to care for you.