a chocolate fireguard, teapot,
or fender, an icecream sofa, a dry sea
or wet towel, glass hammer,
waterproof teabag, newspaper
raincoat or umbrella, lead parachute, ashtray kop on a motorbike,
handbrake on a canoe,
vote in a dictatorship,
loudhailer to a deaf mute,
grief at a wedding,
a condom in a monastery.
an inflatable dartboard,
a spoon in a knife-fight,
screen door on a submarine
pockets on a lettuce
tits on a fish, lolly pop van in Hell
a one-legged man in an arse
kicking competition,
this poem.